Friday, October 29, 2010

What Does Your Halloween Costume Say About You?

Today: I thought it would be fun to look up what your Halloween costume says about you. Some of these are rather snarky but that just means it will be even more fun to read at the party on Saturday. LOL. I'm going as a female cop so I guess its a combo of (semi) sexy costume and a powerful costume hmmmmm, outlook doesnt look good.

Pirate: More rebellious than they appear. quiet and polite on the outside, strain at the bonds of authority on the inside. They instinctively reject rules, and have a rich fantasy life that involves freedom, adventure, robbery, even murder.

Pirates of the Caribbean Pirate: This means anyone with a true inner pirate would rather die than wear a pirate costume, which now stinks of conformity. These Pirates are more likely children who are sheepish, and afraid.

Outdated Character Costumes: Once a popular Halloween costume, these characters are more than a few years past their prime. But there are still Chinese warehouses full of them. They can be obtained for around $1.20 a gross. People choosing this costume are personality free candy junkies, their 'trick or treat' no more or less than a desperate cry for help.

Witch: This is a girl, or someone who would like to be a girl. If she's lucky, she's painfully shy and is making what she knows is a safe Halloween choice. If she's not shy, she's dull, dull, dull, so painfully dull.

Hobo: Never give these children treats. Their costume choice already illustrates that they are all about the free ride, and they don't need encouragement. The best you can do for these lazy, shiftless, responsibility shirking little bastards is to tell them to get the hell off your porch and get a job. Maybe this will help them wake up and stop dreaming of the freedom that bone crushing poverty and homelessness almost certainly bestow.

'Lord of The Rings' Character: This costume once represented sweeping societal change. You were the child of aloof, socially inept parents.

A Costume You Have to Explain: They are Totally focused on their inner life, they are unable to read any of the social cues a holiday Like Halloween is full of. They do not understand that when someone says 'Oh, aren't you cute? What are you supposed to be?' they are just being polite. They are uninterested in hearing an oral doctoral dissertation on your costume Sadly, this person cannot even decode the boredom they induce, and so will require outside control to learn to function successfully in the world. Or they're just a self-involved, boring little sack of crap. Not every jerk kid has a bona fide disorder. Some of them just suck. Sorry, but that's the hard truth.

Sexy Costume: On an adult woman, it signifies both repression and desire. On an adult sexy woman (i.e. Sexy prior to costume) we see a faulty body image. An adult non-sexy woman in the 'Sexy' costume reveal inner repression, sexual shame and startling denial in thinking fishnets and darkness will take the place of diet, exercise and self-esteem. In the event the 'sexy costume' is used on a dog or cat, you need to get to know the owner. 'Cause they are hot.

Super Hero: This costume means you are in super denial about what a super chubby super wiener you really are. You may have an old-school sense of gender roles . . . meaning you think the MAN should be the hero.

Vampire: This person has one thing on their mind: SEX. They're just looking for an excuse to put their mouth on your neck, and will probably come on way too strong.

Devil: Usually the life of the party, fun, and sees himself as the one who's going to get things going. But there's also a chance he might be a total WEIRDO. So be careful with people dressed as devils.

Angels, Fairies, Princesses: Represent one’s lost beauty or innocence, or a return to a safer and simpler time.

Powerful Characters: This can be a variation of the “evil” costume, or a more benign expression of a fantasy of omnipotence. They also can express underlying feelings of helplessness and insecurity.

Scary Characters: Zombies, werewolves, skeletons and other monsters show our fascination with the macabre, & the grotesque. These are dark people who are drawn to death.

Evil characters: Evil costumes allow people to safely — and even creatively — express their dark side without guilt. Some people may use evil or aggressive costumes as a way to alienate others, which indicate anxiety about intimacy and being vulnerable. Short man complex, anyone?

Comic/ Cartoon Characters: Clowns, etc. represent whimsy, playfulness and youth, People want to leave their serious natures behind on this holiday.

Anime Characters:  Tend to be more seductive than the cartoon character, with hints of whimsy & mystery. And of course this is the perfect way to let the wearer release their inner dork.

Pimps and Prostitutes: Represent their own inner struggles. Can you say mommy or daddy complex?

Celebrity Costumes: These people tend to follow trends, and like trends. They are more dashing and daring, not someone with real power. They can't think on their own, they are sheep.

Animals: Animal costumes represent strength and basic instincts. This person may actually have common sense.

Cats: These people are sensual, purring, and soft.

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